Did you take that extra step with a platonic male friend? Sure, it seemed like a good idea at first. You get along well with him, you can hang out for hours on end, and both of you are single. So why not satisfy each other sexually with no strings attached? You’ll always have that companion and you’ll have a partner in bed that doesn’t require as much work or emotion as a romantic relationship! But then reality sets in: you are starting to develop stronger feelings for him. You think about him when he’s not around. And every time you fool around with him, it becomes more and more obvious that you are starting to fall in love with him. If this is you, it’s probably a good time to end this relationship before it gets too ugly!
A casual sexual relationship with a good friend will almost inevitably start out fantastic. It seems like it solves all of your problems. You get to keep a supportive, functional platonic relationship going while adding a little spice for your needs. The unfortunate reality, however, is that women tie romantic feelings in with sex, regardless of whether it is conscious or not. Men are built for hit-and-run sexual encounters. It’s easy for them to have a little fun and walk away without any altered feelings. Women are not the same. Sex is a very intimate act, even if it is supposedly casual. A woman will enter the situation thinking they’re capable of managing their emotions, but often times they will take hold before she even notices. And the longer this relationship transpires, the bigger the risk of heartbreak.
The second you start realizing that your emotions are developing beyond the platonic, it is wise to end the casual sex relationship with your friend. You may entertain fantasies that he is feeling the same way, but that is very, very unlikely. It’s not going to happen. You need to protect yourself. So how do you do that?
It’s simple. Tell him no. Say no to answering his calls or messages. Say no to any suggested outings or anything resembling a date. Say no to him coming over late at night for a “booty call” when his other options fall through. Be unavailable. He will get the hint and you will save yourself from the eventual heartache that will accompany him ending the relationship — which will happen at some point if you don’t.
Remember that you both entered into this relationship with certain expectations on the table. Don’t be resentful that it didn’t turn in your favor, simply distance yourself until you feel you are healed. Then, hopefully, you can revive the platonic relationship (without sex!) and move on to a healthier relationship that is intended to be romantic.