4 Common Reasons Why a Married Woman Loses Motivation About Having Sex With Her Husband

If asked what was more important to you, which option would you pick: cuddling with your husband or having sex him?

While many of us would say “Cuddling,” our husbands would probably take the sex!

Why?

For one, most men are more body-centered and sexually motivated than women. And we, on the other hand, are more relational and emotional.

While men will give affection to get sex, women will give sex to get affection. This difference of opinions can often cause conflict within the marriage.

I have often asked God why sex is so important to men, but not as much to women. One person said that if both the husband and wife had the same motivation about sex, nothing would ever get done. The kids, the house, and the dog would be neglected.

So God created us to balance one another out when it comes to our approach on sex. With this being said, one of the most major parts of marriage is sex. However, many women don’t enjoy sex and could ultimately live their entire lives without ever having sex with their husbands.

Below you will find four common reasons why women often lose motivation about having sex with their husbands:

1) Emotions. Women tend to be very emotional at different points in their lives. Much of it is hormonal, but some of it can be cultural or familial. For example, if a woman’s mother often allowed her hormones to rule her to where she was often “touchy” and sensitive about different situations, chances are this woman will learn to allow her hormones to rule her unless she makes a decision to rule her emotions instead.

2) Fatigue. As women, we are often a primary care giver for the children, especially if we stay at home. This role of being there for our children, (whether we work inside or outside of the home), is not uncommon because we are born nurturers. There’s also housework, mental fatigue, and many other things that can drain our energy throughout the day.

3) Preoccupation. In addition to being deprived of energy, we can become easily distracted when it comes to focusing on sex. Whether it’s a crying baby or a phone call we often establish a habit of allowing other things to take priority over our love lives.

4) Stress. Our emotions and preoccupation can build up which will ultimately lead to stress. What is stress? One dictionary calls stress a state of mental tension that causes feelings of worry or anxiety. Stress will completely cause any passion we have for our husbands to disappear because whatever we stress over will become our focal point in lives, and ultimately to take priority over having sex.

Emotions, fatigue, preoccupation, and stress are a common part of life. However, there are ways that we can put each one into proper perspective so we can obtain balance and experience an extraordinary sex life within the marriage relationship.

Sex Books For Men – The Top Ten Books Concerning Male Sexual Health on Amazon

Currently, the top ten sex books for men on Amazon are split between two subjects. 80% of the books are devoted to matters relating to male sexual health and performance issues, whilst the other 20% deals with sexual abuse and its aftermath.

Of the eight books centred around male sexual health, six focus specifically on improving potency, with Secret Aphrodisiac Sexual Stimulants: Aphrodisiacs for Male Impotency, Building Libido & Sex Drive Enhancement by William Livingstone revealing the many aphrodisiac sexual stimulants that can be purchased – pills and tonics to boost the libido and bolster the erection – and Male Potency: A Man’s Guide to Optimal Sexual Health by L B Johnson looking at the nutritional factors needed to achieve a healthy and fulfilling sex life, including many herbs of the Amazon rain forest.

However, another two – Drugs Compromising Male Sexual Health by Walter Krause and Sexual Health for Men by Richard F Spark – actively discount these lotions and potions, quoting the risks and dangers of consuming and applying such chemicals.

Male Sexual Dysfunction – A Medical Dictionary, Bibliography and Annotated Research Guide to Internet References by ICON Health Publications is a complete medical dictionary of expressions and terms relating to male sexual dysfunction.

Whilst Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia and Michael Winn reports on mystical Taoist principles and shows the reader how to harness sexual energy from transcendental states of consciousness.

The two sex books for men at the top of the chart Men’s Sexual Health: Fitness for Satisfying Sex by Barry W McCarthy and Michael E Metz and Male Sexual Health: A Couple’s Guide by Richard F Spark aim to help a man and his partner to learn that mutually satisfying sex is the core principle of any successful relationship. The primary focus is on educating the reader to realise that not all sex finishes with both partners climaxing simultaneously.

There are varying levels of pleasure and satisfaction in between but, at the heart of the best relationships is an honest intimacy that allows a couple to explore all methods of foreplay and erotic arousal that will allow both to achieve orgasm as part of a mutually exciting experience.

The most popular book specifically targets male fitness, as this is a major factor in establishing the stamina to be able to indulge the different types of foreplay and intercourse techniques which will promote the best climaxes.

The two titles that stand apart from the rest in the top ten male sexual health books on Amazon concern sexual abuse. Sexual Abuse of Males: The SAM Model of Theory and Practice by Josef Spiegel looks at the psychological and physical repercussions of the childhood abuse of boys, whilst Opening the Door: A Treatment Model for Therapy With Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Adrian Crowder addresses the various techniques used by professional counsellors and therapists to try to repair the damage.

Can Watching Porn Affect Your Sex Life?

Is watching porn okay? If a guy likes to watch porn should his sex partner be concerned? Is it healthy or normal for a guy to watch porn frequently when he has a girl friend and a great sex life?

These are very common questions and concerns in men-women relationships. Let us first clear away some confusion about porn and its effects on building a healthy sexual relationship. A study by a group of scientists at the University of Montreal found that men watched porn that matched their own image of sexuality, and quickly discarded material they found offensive or distasteful. Porn did not have a negative effect on men’s sexuality. Porn hasn’t changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible. Thus there is nothing abnormal or unhealthy with watching porn as long as we do not get too obsessive to the point that we choose porn over sex with our partner.

If this happens you should consider your feelings about porn. What makes you so obsessive about porn that your partner feels left out? Is it something about your partner that you are not happy with? Is it due to boredom or an escape from a relationship that is steadily losing some “sparks”?

In this case, you need to sit down to talk with your partner about the issues and concerns in the relationship. The talk must be in such a way that it does not lead to the pinning of blame or assigning the causes of the problems in relationship on her. The goal here is to work together with her to solve the problem. Putting the blame on her will only cause her to get defensive and leading to argument. If you find yourself unable to work this out alone, it could be helpful to talk to a counselor or sex therapist.

However in situation when you have a normal sex relationship and both of you has different views on porn and she is not satisfied with the role of porn in your relationship, there is also a need for both of you to sit down and talk. You need to ask yourself what you like about porn. Is it due to fantasy? Are there things you see from porn that you want both to try together? At the same time, she can also sort out her thoughts about porn. Is it something that interests her at all? If so, she can pick those adult movies that meet her individual taste which can later progress to the stage that both of you can together choose the type of porn to watch together. If she does not like the idea of having porn a part of the sexual relationship, she needs to explain the reasons and a compromise is needed in order to break this deadlock. If both of you can honestly share with each other feelings about porn and porn watching, the concern about the effects of porn on relationship can go away.